Act One Divorce: A Drama in Six Press Conferences

Screenplay by David Kohan

INT. GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS LOCKER ROOM - DAY. KEVIN DURANT, wearing his Warriors uniform stands in front his locker addressing reporters.

KEVIN: ...I feel really grateful to play with a bunch of players who are selfless and enjoy the game in its purest form.

INT. OKLAHOMA CITY THUNDER LOCKER ROOM - THE NEXT DAY. RUSSELL WESTBROOK, wearing his Thunder uniform stands in front of his locker addressing reporters.

REPORTER: Russell, do you think by calling his new teammates "selfless" Kevin was implying that you're selfish?

RUSSELL: Pssh, man! Why you guys always trying to stir stuff up? I don't see you writing that I just got a new pet and named it KD.

REPORTER: I didn't know. What kind of pet is he?

RUSSELL: She. Kitten.

INT. GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS LOCKER ROOM - THE NEXT DAY

REPORTER: Kevin, do you think Russell Westbrook was trying to tell you something by buying a female kitten and naming it KD?

KEVIN: Why you guys always gotta be so negative?! He named a pet after me just like I named a pet after him. It's a respect thing.

REPORTER: You have a pet named Russell? What kind of --

KEVIN: I don't want to talk about it. I want to talk about basketball. I want to talk about my new team.

REPORTER: Okay well let me ask you about shot distribution. Are you concerned --

KEVIN: Yorkshire Terrier! Little dog. Yaps a lot. I throw him the ball and I never see it again. And he craps all over my dreams of an NBA championship... I mean, floor.

INT. OKLAHOMA CITY THUNDER LOCKER ROOM - THE NEXT DAY.

REPORTER: Kevin said --

RUSSELL: I don't want to hear anymore about what Kevin said. I'm done talking about it.

REPORTER: No response to the Yorkshire Terrier comments?

Russell Stares at the reporter coldly.

REPORTER (CONT'D): Any thoughts about his new Rick James tattoo?

Russell grimaces at him contemptuously, then, unable to help himself:

RUSSELL: It should have been a tattoo of Mick Jagger and Keith Richards.

REPORTER: Why?

RUSSELL: No reason.

A long beat. Then unable to help himself:

RUSSELL (CONT'D): So he can know what it's like to have a pair of Stones.

INT. GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS LOCKER ROOM - THE NEXT DAY

REPORTER: ...How do you respond?

KEVIN: I got nothing to -- He's a selfish child!

INT. OKLAHOMA CITY THUNDER LOCKER ROOM - THE NEXT DAY.

RUSSELL: He's soft!

INT. GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS LOCKER ROOM - THE NEXT DAY

KEVIN: He sucked the joy out of the game!

INT. OKLAHOMA CITY THUNDER LOCKER ROOM - THE NEXT DAY.

RUSSELL: He's a sorry ass clown who could have won a championship here in OKC but he choked away game 7 of the Conference Finals, and then, instead of coming back with a renewed sense of purpose and fire to avenge a painful loss and bring glory to this city that's given everything to him, he goes to the team that beat him! No heart! No character! You know what we call people like that we're I'm from? Cowards! That's what you are Kevin! You're a coward!

INT. GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS LOCKER ROOM - THE NEXT DAY

Kevin considers. His eyes narrow. He takes a deep breath.

KEVIN: I'm on the Golden State Warriors and he's not.

Reporter turns and speaks directly to the camera.

REPORTER: And we have a winner...

Fade Out.

Act Two Behind Closed Doors

Screenplay by Adam McKay

OPEN ON: ORACLE ARENA - NIGHT

MUSIC: Whiz Khalifa Remix of "We Are Family" by Sister Sledge

The WARRIORS are finishing off a blowout against the NUGGETS. STEPHEN CURRY hits a 28 footer, DRAYMOND GREEN steals the in bounds pass and passes no look to KEVIN DURANT who strokes a 25 footer in rhythm. KLAY THOMPSON hits back to back 3's. Crowd goes insane. Final score: 136 - 107!

LOCKER ROOM - 15 MINUTES LATER. Quick snippets of interviews:

REPORTER: Your team is 38 and 4. Going into the season there were questions about how the chemistry would work with so many stars. What do you say to those critics now?

DURANT: I came here to play team ball. It's not about stats. It's about rings.

CURRY: It's about playing the game the way it's meant to be played...

THOMPSON: Know what number is better than 50 points? W. Did you see what I did there? W's not a number.

REPORTER: Yes, I got it Klay.

LOCKER ROOM DOOR CLOSES - THE PRESS IS GONE.

MUSIC: Out. The Locker Room is now quiet. DURANT sits with his back to everyone in a spinning high backed chair. We hear a solo sarcastic clap as he spins slowly to face the room.

DURANT: Bravo... We beat the Nuggets. The big bad Nuggets! And little Stevie Curry had... (looks at a stat sheet) 36 points!

CURRY: My name's Stephen! And before you got here I used to get 36 in a half!

JaVALE McGEE pours champagne into DURANT'S glass.

DURANT: When I was in OKC one time I got 36 points... while I was snow blind! We were on a ski trip and I forgot my goggles, that part doesn't matter! What does matter is I only had 28 tonight! You know who gets 28 points? Goddamn Brooke Lopez gets 28! Even Robin Lopez gets 20 sometimes!

He throws his glass at the wall, shattering it.

CURRY: Maybe if you had a baby hook like every other seven footer!

DURANT: I'M SIX TEN!!! DON'T EVER CALL ME SEVEN FEET TALL!!!

DURANT charges at CURRY. GREEN gets in between them.

GREEN: Hey! Hey! Enough of this! We need to control our emotions! Now I've been scheduling meditation Tuesdays all year and you two never show up.

ZAZA PACHULIA: I show up!

GREEN: And ZaZa ends up watching Baywatch reruns in Russian on his phone the whole time. We have to get emotionally centered as a team!

CURRY: The hell with being centered! I've got to get mine! My daughter Riley got on the computer the other night and spent 6 million bucks on Webkinz. I need a new contract!

We hear crying in the locker room. Everyone turns. It's KLAY THOMPSON holding the discarded stat sheet.

THOMPSON: Eight points? Eight?

ANDRE IGUODALA comforts him.

IGGY: It's OK, Klay. I haven't scored eight points since they released the iPhone 3.

KLAY THOMPSON (SPEAKING THROUGH CHOKING CRYING INHALES): When the ball... goes in the net... people like me... But when it doesn't... No one likes me....

DRAYMOND GREEN comes to his side. He's very compassionate and understanding.

GREEN: It's OK buddy... Remember what we talked about? How people can love you for you and not your accomplishments? Did you listen to that Pema Chodron MP3 I put on your phone?

KLAY THOMPSON (THROUGH TEARS): Yes... The lady said nice things...She was like Hubie Brown except she talked about stuff besides transition D...

Another glass smashes against the wall.

DURANT: Man, I'm sick of this s---! You've all gone soft! This team is like an episode of Caillou!

CURRY: Stop throwing glasses!

IGGY: Where's he get them from?

DURANT takes another glass from his back pack and JaVALE pours champagne into it.

CURRY: That's why you carry that back pack.

DURANT: Here's how it's going to be from now on! I get 30 shots a night. Whatever's left you all can fight over.

CURRY: And what you gonna do if I tell you to go to hell? Huh?

DURANT: Then our new coach is gonna have a big problem.

KOBE BRYANT walks in.

KOBE BRYANT: Buonasera, bitches. Here's how it's going to be: Kevin shoots 50 times a game.

CURRY: You can't hire your own coach!

DURANT hands KOBE a glass, he smashes it against a wall.

BRYANT: He just did! And from now on anyone who passes gets fined!

DURANT hands him another glass, KOBE throws it but this time at the last second a HAND CATCHES THE GLASS!

DURANT: What the hell?

VOICE (O.C.): Enough!

STEVE KERR, in a wheelchair with a blanket across his legs, a la Professor X from the X-Men, wheels in.

STEVE KERR: We shall play as a team...

JAVALE MCGEE (FREAKED): His words... He's not speaking but I can hear them in my head...

DURANT: Man, your freaky mind tricks don't scare me!

KERR puts his finger to his temple and "focuses" on DURANT, who suddenly speaks in a flat tone.

DURANT: Steve Kerr is correct. Basketball is beautiful when the ball moves to the best shot.

KOBE BRYANT (also mind controlled): I have to go teach a free clinic on the art of the chest pass at the Boys & Girls Club of America.

He exits.

STEVE KERR: Tomorrow night we have the Spurs. Draymond, I need you to kick someone in the balls to rattle them.

DRAYMOND: But that's not who I am! People will think I'm a jerk!

STEVE KERR: You'll do it... for the team.

A bench player, IAN CLARK, yells way too loudly.

IAN CLARK: LET'S DO IT FOR THE TEAM!!

EVERYONE goes quiet.

IGGY: You're not supposed to talk man.

CURRY: Who is that guy?

STEVE KERR: Now let's all go to dinner at TGI Friday's.

ALL: I love that place... And it's actually Friday! How cool!... Separate checks though, right?

Everyone exits.

MUSIC: "The Warrior" by Scandal (but way too loudly so it distorts).

OUT

Act ThreeHeroes and Villains

Screenplay by Cheo Hodari Coker

Black Screen: A familiar piano line. A stutter step of a beat.

Fade up on: THE MANHATTAN SKYLINE. Lit up. Skyscrapers reaching towards God, lights.

MUSIC: Nas "New York State of Mind."

We move around the city, the full streets, the people, to the rhythm of the song until we find the mecca. We hear the sound of squeaking sneakers and leather hitting a hard surface. Only one thing makes that sound.

INT. MADISON SQUARE GARDEN - NIGHT. The place is rocking. People on their feet. SPIKE LEE waving his arms. WOODY ALLEN looking circumspect. 4th quarter. 30 seconds left. Knicks against Warriors. 103 to 103.

CURRY has the ball in his hands. Chewing on his mouthguard. He looks around the court. KLAY to his left, DURANT to his right moving fast. Both covered by COURTNEY LEE and CARMELO ANTHONY. Seconds are fleeting.

(There's that damn organ. The one that always plays when shit gets tight.)

DRAYMOND low to the ground, KRISTAPS PORZINGIS hovering, pulling. DRAY makes eye contact with CURRY. They give each other a nod. They've done this countless times, in practice, and games like this, when it's all on the line.

Victory or death.

Curry passes to the left side of the wing, DRAYMOND, swooping low, catches the ball, dribbles, stutter steps, while CURRY cuts to the basket, looking for the give and go. Instead DRAYMOND pulls up just behind the 3-point line, SHOOTS and...

CLANG, it bounces off the rim into KLAY'S hands. KLAY goes back up...misses, and before DRAYMOND can get the rebound, he pushes past KRISTAPS PORZINGIS, who with the slightest contact falls to the GROUND.

A whistle blows.

Draymond is FURIOUS. He pleads his case to the REF, who becomes angrier the louder DRAYMOND gets. He turns and walks away. DRAYMOND keeps jawing, walking after the ref, angry and passionate. The Ref Ts him up...Twice. He's out of the game.

PORZINGIS steps to the line to take his foul shots. DRAYMOND walks toward the bench, steam coming out of his ears. He catches STEVE KERR'S glance and steps to him a bit. Says something. He raises his voice. DRAYMOND raises his. DAVID WEST stands between them. It gets heated.

DRAYMOND turns and heads for the locker room. He walks past a man wearing a black hoodie standing just inside the tunnel. LUKE CAGE has an all-access pass to the city, it seems, and the Garden is one such locale.

INT. HALLWAY -NIGHT.

DRAYMOND comes out, wearing a dark blue suit and carrying a leather duffle. LUKE, hood up, leans against the wall. He takes his hood down.

DRAYMOND: Luke Cage! Oh s---!

Hands, dap, shoulder bump, obligatory black man's nod. Respect.

DRAYMOND (CONT'D): What are you doing here?

LUKE: Carmelo invited me. Waiting on him.

DRAYMOND: You know Melo?

LUKE: That's my man. I did security at the Rucker last year. (beat) People chill when I'm around.

DRAYMOND: No doubt. Tell your man to keep his bags packed. Where you think he's going?

LUKE: The Land. Y'all changed the game when you landed KD.

DRAYMOND: Yeah. He's a beast. I bet he's stronger than you.

LUKE: No.

Long pause. They both laugh.

DRAYMOND: Yo. Shouldn't you be out saving somebody?

LUKE: That's my job. Not my whole life. You ever be on your day off, and if you walk by a basketball court, people expect you to jump on it?

DRAYMOND: All the time.

LUKE: Well, people shoot at me. Sometimes I need a break.

DRAYMOND: I saw the YouTube. That s--- is ill. You're bulletproof.

LUKE: True. They bounce off. But they still hurt.

DRAYMOND: Well, imagine the alternative.

LUKE: Can I offer you some advice?

DRAYMOND: How 'bout I offer you some: UFC.

LUKE: Turned them down. What's Conor McGregor going to do to me? Wouldn't be fair to him. That's why he wants Mayweather.

DRAYMOND: Why don't you fight them both at the same time?

LUKE: I need a challenge.

DRAYMOND: Fifty mil is all the challenge you need. You said you had advice for me?

LUKE: Your temper ...

DRAYMOND shakes his head.

DRAYMOND: Here we go. You gonna talk about Cleveland and the series.

LUKE: I wasn't even going there. You get that every day.

DRAYMOND: Every day.

LUKE: That foul just now cost you the game.

DRAYMOND: What foul? He flopped. Ref was out of pocket.

LUKE: He T'd you up after you followed him.

DRAYMOND: You sure you ain't working for ESPN? Stephen A. Smith got a camera somewhere?

LUKE: Hero to hero, you've got to slow your roll. Just sayin'.

DRAYMOND: Now you sounding like Steve.

LUKE: You know why he yells at you, right? 'Cause Phil yelled at him. He had to yell at Steve to yell at Jordan. He's yelling at you to remind everyone else that when things get tight, you've got to think as a team. You're the pulse. The heartbeat.

Draymond looks at Luke.

DRAYMOND: This what you do? Walk around and offer people advice they ain't ask for between whupping ass?

LUKE: Sometimes I whup ass and offer advice at the same time. My schedule is tight.

DRAYMOND laughs.

DRAYMOND: Same as mine.

They both laugh.

DRAYMOND: You always come to games?

LUKE: When I'm not getting shot at. (beat) Look. I didn't mean to say anything.

DRAYMOND: Yeah, 'cause you coming off like somebody's Pops.

LUKE: There's only one Pop.

A door opens. CURRY walks out. So does KLAY. They look at DRAY talking with LUKE. DRAYMOND looks up. They exchange looks like, "Is that who I think that is?" LUKE waves them over. They both take selfies with LUKE, then walk down the hallway toward the exit where the bus is.

DRAYMOND: Gotta go.

LUKE: Nice meeting you.

DRAYMOND: Can I get a pic?

LUKE: No doubt.

Draymond pulls out his phone and takes a selfie with Luke.

DRAYMOND: For the Gram. You got a hashtag?

LUKE: Hashtag Forward Always.

DRAYMOND: I like that.

Draymond picks up his bag. Is about to walk away. And stops.

DRAYMOND: You ever lose your temper?

HYPERFLASH ON: Kicking a dude into the elevator at Crispus Attucks Complex.

BACK ON: Luke.

LUKE: Nah. (beat) You gotta remember. People are following me. (beat) Always forward.

DRAYMOND: Forward ... always.

LUKE turns and walks away. DRAYMOND watches him. The door opens again. STEVE KERR walks out.

KERR: That Luke Cage?

DRAYMOND: Yeah.

KERR: Every day, it's something else with you.

DRAYMOND: Coach, I'm sorry about what happened. (beat) Won't happen again.

KERR: Yes it will.

Kerr smirks. They walk together.

DRAYMOND: Phil used to yell at you?

KERR: Yeah. And sometimes I'd yell back.

They keep talking as they walk toward the bus. They reach the bus and get on. The door closes behind them.

FADE OUT