So, I was on Twitter this summer and got a weird comment from a follower.
(Uh, yeah, Matthew, can you be more specific?)
The follower was insulting me.
(Still not narrowing it down)
And I got into it with him in July.
(Again, a little more detail, please)
It was June 28 at 12:44 p.m. ET.
(Still not sure which interaction you're talking about here. Can you narrow it down a little more?)
Ha! So, one time this summer I was asked what my favorite way to play fantasy football was. And I answered, as I always do, that I really enjoy almost all forms of fantasy. Different leagues, different scoring, different sports; hell, I even played in a league where you start punters once (points for distance). So I like it all. Two quarterbacks, PPR, half-point PPR, dynasty, season-long, daily, six points per touchdown pass, four points, eight-, 10-, 12-, 14-, 16-team, keeper, high stakes, low stakes, no stakes. I enjoy and play it all.
But if I had to pick just one format to play, I might very well choose the ESPN standard league game. Ten teams, two running backs, two wide receivers, a flex, seven-man bench, four points per passing touchdown. And after I said that I like that, I can't tell you how many responses I got like this one.
@MatthewBerryTMR 10 tm????? Weak. Waiver wire is like an all-star team
— JordanJ (@LiveinTempe) June 28, 2015And that's when I realized it. I had run into another one. @LiveinTempe was a fantasy football snob.
My argument back is that, yes, in a 10-team league the waiver wire is full and most teams have very good players. Which means every week, you have to make decisions. I need to bench one of Jeremy Hill, Melvin Gordon or Joseph Randle this week in a league. That's a real decision. In my 16-team league, you're deciding between warm bodies and in many cases, your lineup decisions are made for you. One injury kills your season with no chance to come back.
Others screamed that "no one they know" plays in 10-team leagues, which is insane, of course, as more people play in eight- (yes, eight!) or 10-team leagues on ESPN than any other way. Millions of people play this way.
"It's for noobs," they screamed. Well, I'm in a league where everyone is in at least their second decade of playing and many of us are in our third. But so what if it's new players? Stop being a snob.
The point of fantasy football is to enjoy it. You like your 32-team, 20-man keeper, complicated salary cap scoring league? Great, good for you, enjoy it. But stop dictating to the rest of us how we should play.
There may be no person in fantasy that drives me more up a wall than the "fantasy football snob." You know this person. The total know-it-all. Their way is right and no one knows anything. I do a version of this column every year, and I will keep doing it until there is no longer such a thing as a fantasy snob. In addition to knowing the "right way" to play, the fantasy football snob ...
... vetoes trades because "it makes a team too good" or "it's part of his/her strategy." Negotiation is a skill in fantasy, just like anything else. It's not your job to coach someone else's team. Everyone should coach their own team, even if it's badly. Vetoes are for cowards.
... sits there and passes judgment on every draft pick. Hey captain, if I wanted play-by-play for this, I'd have brought Mike Tirico.
... talks about how good his/her team is. The only thing people care less about than your vacation photos and golf game is your fantasy team.
... explains how he/she should have won "if only they'd started so and so ..." No duh, genius. We all would have won if we had started the player who scored more points. But you didn't. So shut up.
... says things like, "I can't believe you lost to a girl" or "She can't play in my league." Some of the best players I know are women. Everyone plays and should be encouraged to play. Worry less about someone's gender and just get better. Or get out.
... offers terrible trades, thinking he/she is the only one who knows anything about fantasy football. If you wouldn't do it in reverse, don't offer it.
... goes nuts on the message board, but gets upset if people talk crap to him. Don't dish out what you can't take.
... picks up tons of players and immediately waives them, spamming the free-agent pool, because they think they have some "amazing strategy" and they are better than everyone else. Being a jerk isn't a strategy, it's being a jerk. You're not better than everyone else at anything except being a moron.
... talks about all the film he/she watches and research he/she does. Dude, or dudette, if you're that good, it'll show in the results. Julio Jones doesn't have to tell us how good he is at catching footballs, you know?
... can't be bothered to respond to trade offers. You don't want to do it? That's fine. Say so. But don't ignore. Are you in this league or not?
... complains on social media and message boards to athletes, coaches and analysts. Seriously, man, grow up. Everyone's trying his/her best and if anyone actually cared this much about what you do for a living, you wouldn't enjoy someone yelling at you. Calm down. It's a game we play for fun.
And finally ...
... is judgmental, narrow-minded and ruins the greatest game ever invented. Don't be a snob. Walk a mile in another person's virtual cleats or some such, you know?
Before we dive in, I'd like to thank everyone for the very kind comments, tweets and emails about last week's column. I tried to reply to as many as I could, but volume and time prevented me from getting to more of them. Know that I read every one of them, appreciated the many very thoughtful replies on what I should have done and the support. The Giants very graciously reached out and asked if there was a way to make it up to my kids, which I thought was very cool. Not surprisingly, I never heard from the kids that sat behind me.
Finally, thanks, as always, to the gang at ESPN Stats & Information for their help. Let's get to it.
Quarterbacks I love in Week 5
Peyton Manning, Broncos: Hey, some things have changed. Denver wins with its defense these days, Peyton can't feel his fingertips, and Oakland is 2-2. Yet the more things change, the more they stay the same. The Broncos have two great wide receivers and the Raiders are giving up more than 310 passing yards a game, second-most in the NFL. Since he joined the Broncos, Manning has averaged 316 yards per game and has 16 TD passes in six games versus the Raiders. Given the Broncos' struggling run game, expect his big numbers to continue.
Eli Manning, Giants: Eli has seven touchdowns in his past three games, and he's at home against a 49ers team that gets lit up on the road; in two road games this season, the Niners have given up 340 passing yards a game and a total of five touchdown passes. No team has allowed more 20-plus-yard plays and a higher completion percentage this season than San Fran. You wanna try to guard Odell Beckham Jr. in prime time? Well, neither do the 49ers.
Sam Bradford, Eagles: Not out of the woods yet, Bradford had some ugly moments last week. But he also had some good ones, and at the end of the day, he put up big numbers, something I expect to continue against a Saints team that has given up the second-most fantasy points to opposing quarterbacks, including an average of 27 points a game in their two road contests. Remember kids, when in doubt, start the guy going against Rob Ryan.
If you're desperate: Alex Smith has thrown for a ton of yards so far (sixth-most in the NFL) and now gets Chicago, which is tied for the second-most touchdown passes allowed. ... The team the Bears are tied with? The Bills, believe it or not. Buffalo is one of four teams to allow multiple passing touchdowns in every game this season, making Marcus Mariota a viable QB2 coming off his bye. ... The Falcons will score at will through the air on Washington, meaning Kirk Cousins will be throwing a ton against the Falcons' 30th-ranked pass defense. It's worth noting that the Falcons pressure QBs on dropbacks at the lowest rate in the league (13.2 percent). When not being pressured, Cousins completes better than 75 percent of his passes and has a 3-to-1 TD-to-INT rate.
The price is right: As always, I like all the players listed in "love" for daily as well, but here are a few more guys. Note that all prices, as always, are taken from DraftKings.com.
Happiness is seeing the banged-up and overmatched Washington secondary on the road and you get to throw to Julio Jones. Matt Ryan's $6,700 price tag is ninth-highest among quarterbacks, but I have him ranked third this week. ... Generally, I don't like paying full value, but this week I have no issue paying for Aaron "I'm money at home" Rodgers ($7,900) or Tom "Off a bye and on a mission" Brady ($7,800). ... Jay Cutler is just $5,300 (same as Kirk Cousins) and faces a Chiefs team that has given up an average of 311 passing yards a game and the most passing touchdowns this season.
Quarterbacks I hate in Week 5
Derek Carr, Raiders: Sorry Oakland, this is not your week. Denver's defense is on a mission this season, and that mission does not involve Derek Carr doing anything against a secondary that has allowed the fewest passing yards per game (185.3) and the fewest passing touchdowns (two) in the NFL.
Andy Dalton, Bengals: And so it comes to this, Red Rifle believers. He's a new man, you say. He finally has all of his weapons (A.J. Green, Tyler Eifert, Marvin Jones) healthy. He has a strong run game, you say, setting up play-action. Bad Andy has yet to rear his head in four games, you yell. I hear you. But in the game of what is more likely ... will Dalton keep it going, or will the Seattle defense buckle even though it has allowed just one quarterback since the start of last season to throw for more than 300 yards? Dalton owners can hang their fantasy hat on the fact that Seattle is on the road and the Seahawks have yet to record an interception this season, but to me, that just means they're due. I'm rolling with the Legion of Boom in this one.
In the pass-happy NFL these days, it's getting tougher and tougher to find "hates" for quarterbacks. I will say that I'm avoiding Russell Wilson, Matthew Stafford and, for his price in daily, Drew Brees.
Running backs I love in Week 5
Arian Foster, Texans: I know, I know. You started him last week and he was brutal. I started him, too. We are all there. But I'm back in. He's never rushed for fewer than 96 yards in seven career games against Indy that he finished, and he has eight scores in those games. The Colts struggle against the run, Foster is fully healthy, and what are the Texans gonna do, let Ryan Mallett throw it? Exactly.
Todd Gurley, Rams: Dude is all that and Jeff Fisher's mustache. A special player -- expect Gurley to get the rock early and often against a Packers team that allows the third-most yards per rush and third-most yards before contact.
T.J. Yeldon, Jaguars: A workhorse in the truest sense of the word, Yeldon has the third-most rushing attempts in the NFL this season, and if you're gonna get a lot of run, Tampa Bay is the team to do it against. The Bucs are giving up the third-most rushing yards per game and the most rushing yards after contact.
Dion Lewis, Patriots: Averaging five catches and 59.7 receiving yards per game this season, Lewis is coming off a bye and faces a Cowboys team that has allowed 84 receiving yards per game to running backs, second-most in the NFL.
Justin Forsett, Ravens: Finally back on track last week, it's fairly simple. The sun comes up in the morning, the sun sets in the evening, you start your RB against the Browns. They have allowed the third-most yards per rush this season and the second-most 20-plus-yard rushes, so expect Baltimore to counter not having Steve Smith Sr. by handing the ball off. Like, you know, a lot.
If you're desperate: Many of our rankers seem to be down on LeGarrette Blount, but just like the Bengals' RB duo, with the Patriots I'm fine with starting either guy. A superefficient offense coming off a bye? You betcha. ... As of this writing, Rex Ryan said it was likely that Boobie Dixon (heh heh, I said Dixon) would get the majority of work against the Titans' 19th-ranked run defense. ... I think last weekend was just the start for Duke Johnson Jr.; I expect the Browns to trail in this game, and he should get a lot of work again. ... You know that I think Washington will be behind this week. And when the Skins throw, Chris Thompson gets a lot of the work.
The price is right: Well, most of the guys I just listed are dirt cheap (especially Gurley and Yeldon), but I'll also say that I think Le'Veon Bell ($8,500) is worth paying for this week against a Chargers defense allowing the most yards per carry (4.88) and yards before contact per carry (3.14) in the NFL. ... Chris Johnson at $4,400 is pretty inexpensive for a guy who should still see the majority of touches in a decent matchup on the turf in Detroit, as Andre Ellington works his way back. ... It's certainly not a great matchup, but I do expect Antonio Andrews to get a lot of the work against Buffalo and have a good chance at scoring. At $3,500, he doesn't need to do much to earn it back.
Running backs I hate in Week 5
Jeremy Hill, Bengals: He was great on this past week's Fantasy Football Kickoff (3 p.m. ET every Tuesday on ESPN and WatchESPN) talking about the Bengals' running game and his fantasy team -- yes, he plays fantasy football! But I don't think this is his week. The scores are nice, of course, but he has yet to have a game with 20 rushing attempts and, you know ... Seattle. The Seahawks are giving up just 3.5 yards per rush this season, fourth-best in the NFL.
Carlos Hyde, 49ers: Hide ya kids, Hide ya wife, Hide ya ... Hyde? Sadly, I think so. After that amazing Week 1, it just keeps getting worse every week, and this isn't the week it turns around. The Giants have allowed the fewest rushing yards, the second-fewest yards per carry, and just two rushing TDs this season. They also are giving up an average of just 1.48 yards per rush before contact, the fewest in the league. Do I have another yards-before-contact stat for Hyde that isn't good? You bet I do. Funny how that works out. So far, Hyde is averaging 1.79 yards per rush before contact, 41st out of 53 qualified RBs. You know from my Eli thoughts above that I believe the Giants will score well in this game, and when the Niners fall behind, Hyde gets lost in the offense.
Doug Martin, Buccaneers: Just remember, every time you start to trust Doug Martin, he disappoints you. Charles Sims is playing half the snaps, and quietly, the Jags are fourth against the run this season and are allowing just 3.1 yards per rush, best in the NFL.
Wide receivers I love in Week 5
T.Y. Hilton, Colts: Hilton hasn't scored a touchdown yet this season. I would feel better about this if Andrew Luck were playing, but even with Matt Hasselbeck slated to start, I say that ends Thursday night. Hilton is averaging more than 110 yards a game and a touchdown in six career games against Houston; just remember the T.Y. stands for Thank You.
Jeremy Maclin, Chiefs: Nineteen, count 'em, 19 receptions during the past two weeks for Maclin, the most by any player in the NFL in that span. He has been the target monster we predicted in the preseason and now he gets the Bears. Chicago has given up eight touchdowns to opposing wide receivers and I say No. 9 comes to Maclin on Sunday.
Larry Fitzgerald, Cardinals: A bit of an obvious name, I include him because it's crazy that he has become an obvious name. Fitz is the only wideout with at least 75 receiving yards in every game this season, and the Lions have allowed an average of 271.5 passing yards per game, 24th in the NFL. Plus, Fitzgerald has nine receptions on deep passes (15-plus yards downfield), tied for most in the league. The Lions have allowed opponents to complete the highest percentage of deep passes in the league.
Leonard Hankerson, Falcons: With touchdowns in two of the past three games, he's the No. 2 on the Falcons and has been for a while now. They can't all go to Julio ... well, maybe they actually can. But against his former team with an overmatched and banged-up secondary that will throwing everything possible at Jones, expect another solid game from Hank.
If you're desperate: We've already talked about the struggles of the Chiefs' secondary, so I certainly like Eddie Royal coming off a 10-target game. Even if Alshon Jeffery comes back, I still like Royal here. ... The Eagles are one of six teams that allow more than 200 receiving yards per game to wideouts, meaning it should be a decent game for the Saints' leading wide receiver, Willie Snead. That is not a misprint. ... Kendall Wright has 90 yards and a score in two of three games with Marcus Mariota and the Bills have struggled with short-yardage guys like him.
The price is right: Julio Jones is the most expensive guy, but once again, I'm happy to pay up ($9,200) for him at home against Washington. All the Julio. ... I don't expect Steve Smith Sr. to play and, at best, Joe Haden will be playing at less than 100 percent, so Kamar Aiken suddenly becomes pretty interesting against the Browns, especially at just $3,800. ... In addition to all the guys listed in this entire section, Pierre Garcon should get a ton of targets with no Jordan Reed or (most likely) DeSean Jackson. He's just $5,300.
Wide receivers I hate in Week 5
Amari Cooper, Raiders: Sorry, Oakland. Hey, I loved you guys last week! But the Broncos have given up just one touchdown to an opposing receiver so far. Cooper is ridiculous, but against a legit Broncos defense that gives up the second-fewest fantasy points to opposing wideouts, he's outside my top 20.
Terrance Williams, Cowboys: He has caught just three of 12 passes that Brandon Weeden has thrown to him. Yes, he caught the touchdown, but Bill Belichick has had two weeks to prepare for this game. No, thank you.
Golden Tate, Lions: No scores yet, and three out of four games this season he has been below 60 yards, I don't love how Matthew Stafford is playing and the Cardinals are playing lights-out on both sides of the ball.
Tight ends I love in Week 5
Charles Clay, Bills: Not Greg Olsen. Not Travis Kelce. Not Jimmy Graham, Martellus Bennett or Tyler Eifert. No, the tight end in the NFL with the most receiving yards the past two weeks is ... Charles Clay. He's got at least 100 yards or a score in three straight, he's the fourth-highest-scoring tight end in fantasy (and still available in more than 25 percent of leagues) and now gets a Titans team that gives up the fifth-most fantasy points to opposing tight ends.
Antonio Gates, Chargers: Off suspension and now home on Monday night? That'll work. Pittsburgh has given up the second-most receiving touchdowns and the fourth-most targets to opposing TEs this season. They also get crushed in the red zone, where they have allowed the most catches and targets to opposing TEs this season. Plus, with Stevie Johnson and Malcom Floyd banged up, expect Rivers to look Gates' way even more.
Owen Daniels, Broncos: He has scored in two straight and now gets the Raiders. Start your tight ends against the Raiders. They've given up at least one score in every game to an opposing tight end and allow the most receptions, receiving yards, touchdowns and fantasy points to opposing tight ends.
If you're desperate: With Jordan Reed expected to be out, Derek Carrier will get the start in a tight end-friendly offense against a Falcons team that has given up 50 yards or a touchdown to tight ends in 10 of its past 12 games. ... The Ravens are running out of options in the passing game, which faces a Browns team that allows the seventh-most fantasy points to opposing tight ends. So Crockett Gillmore, if he's back (or Maxx Williams if he isn't), is in play here.
The price is right: In addition to the players listed above (Daniels is just $2,700! He won't have a lot of receptions, but has good shot to score), I'll also say that Zach Ertz, who had a score called back last week, is just $2,900 and plays the Saints (third-most points to opposing tight ends) and that, if you think of him as a flex and not a tight end, Rob Gronkowski at $7,500 makes a ton of sense, when compared to others.
Tight ends I hate in Week 5
Gary Barnidge, Browns: It's a credit to Barnidge that he's played so well that he can even be considered a hate now, but as terrific as he has been the past two weeks, I'm avoiding him against Baltimore. The Ravens have yet to allow a touchdown to opposing tight ends and have given up just 31 yards total to them, best in the league.
Not a great week for "hate" on the tight end side, but I will say it's worth noting that the Chiefs have allowed just one TE score in their past 10, so I'm avoiding Martellus Bennett in daily.
Defenses I love in Week 5
Kansas City Chiefs: Jay Cutler never met a turnover he couldn't make. The Bears are the only team in the league to have an opposing defense score double-digit fantasy points against them three times this season.
Buffalo Bills: The Titans have allowed a sack on 10.6 percent of dropbacks this season, the third-highest rate in the NFL. Since the start of last season, the Bills have sacked opposing QBs 61 times, most in the league. In addition, the Bills have nine takeaways this season, tied for fourth most in the league.
If you're desperate: Even though I think this game is a shootout, I don't believe Kirk Cousins goes two games without a big turnover, making the Falcons a potentially nice play. ... The Jaguars probably don't come to mind when thinking of streamers, but they're playing tough and Jameis Winston and the Bucs allow the fourth-most fantasy points to opposing defenses.
The price is right: In addition to the units above, just $2,900 for a Giants team at home in prime time against a 49ers squad that gives up the most fantasy points to opposing defenses sounds nice. ... With Matt Hasselbeck expected to start in place of Andrew Luck once again, the Texans are at home on a short week and just $2,800.
Defenses I hate in Week 5
Seattle Seahawks: If you have them, you're probably starting them, but I'm definitely looking elsewhere in daily. The Bengals' offense has just four giveaways this season through four games and Andy Dalton has been sacked on just 1.6 percent of dropbacks, second fewest in the NFL. Since the start of the 2014 season, the Seahawks are averaging 11.5 fantasy points per game at home and 8.1 per game on the road.
St. Louis Rams: The Packers are one of three teams (Falcons, Patriots) not to allow an opposing fantasy defense to score more than five points in a game this season. I know the Rams are top 10 in defensive scoring, but I'm looking elsewhere this week.
Matthew Berry -- The Talented Mr. Roto -- can't believe he doesn't have anything to complain about for his beloved Washington team this week. He is a paid spokesman for DraftKings.com and the creator of RotoPass.com, a website that combines a bunch of well-known fantasy sites, including ESPN Insider, for one low price. You also might have heard: He has written a book.