NBA teams
Ramona Shelburne, ESPN Senior Writer 9y

Kobe, Lakers can quit pretending now

NBA, Los Angeles Lakers

LOS ANGELES -- It's fitting that Kobe Bryant wanted to pretend everything was OK one last time before losing a third consecutive year to a season-ending injury. Pretending -- that's what this entire season has been for Bryant and the Lakers. Because that's really the only way you get through a season like this with your spirit intact.

And so after playing with the injury for a few minutes Wednesday night in New Orleans and hoisting some off-hand shots, Kobe shrugged and said he wasn't "that concerned about" what proved to be a completely torn rotator cuff in his right, shooting shoulder. He'd played with a torn labrum once, he said. No biggie. Later that night, when I reached out to check on the severity of the injury that had him shooting and playing left-handed, he laughed and said, "Why? God gave us two hands."

It was classic Kobe Bryant. Forever in his armor. He probably already knew what was coming next. What daylight would bring. He'd partially torn the rotator cuff in the preseason and had been managing the injury all along. This was obviously different. But what difference would another night make? Another night of believing that he could talk himself past any injury. Of convincing himself that willpower and work were enough to stave off the effects of age and time and 19 years of NBA pounding.

The world would know soon enough that his season was over. Why not save one more night and fight the inevitable break of dawn?

When he got home to Los Angeles, where each doctor he met with kept saying the same thing, he still needed to take a few more days to process it all.

Yes, this has been a long time coming. The more Kobe played this season, the worse he played. He was sore all over, with the sort of generalized pain that becomes a syndrome and then a downward spiral. But before he ended it by going under the knife, he wanted to exhaust all options.

That's always been Kobe. Never accept anything as it is, on the court or off of it. Believe there's a way, even if you're deluding yourself, and a path will appear.

But there was no getting around this reality. The only way to fix this injury was surgery. So when the time finally came to confirm the inevitable, there was sadness and relief.

It may have been fascinating to watch Kobe play on this awful Lakers team, but it was not fun. There were nights you marveled at him trying to carry the franchise as he once did on much springier, younger legs. There were other nights you cringed as he jacked up 20 or 30 shots and missed far too many.

But his talent, his insatiable competitiveness, his enormous id was lost on a team like this. The Lakers are going nowhere this season. They never really were. Steve Nash was ruled out for the season before it started. Rookie Julius Randle broke his leg on a freak play in the first game of the season. The Lakers' entire reason for being evaporated before the season was a week old.

What were they building? What were they working toward? Very few of the players on this season's team will return. So what good is developing a culture?

Kobe was essentially playing out the string from the jump. In a way, that's fine. Everybody has down years. He's certainly paid well enough to put up with the misery and give the fans something compelling to watch every night.

But at some point, Kobe's path diverged from the one the Lakers must travel. They both knew it. Once Randle went down and Nash was lost for good, the franchise needed to shift its focus to the future. To see what Jeremy Lin could really give them, what young point Jordan Clarkson had. And to see if they could acquire the things rebuilding teams need -- draft picks, cap space and players with a chance to flourish with playing time.

Kobe Bryant is wasted on a team with those priorities. Asking him to play a role in that was both insulting and counterproductive. So instead everyone just called it "conserving" and "preserving" him for the future. Kobe said he understood, and that he'd go along with the plan. But deep down, it ate at him. One night he'd be OK with it, the next he would fight it.

"I will do what they ask of me, but it's very, very hard for me to miss one game," Bryant said after the Lakers played LeBron James and the Cavaliers on Jan. 17. "I'm not going to be here much longer, so the games that I play, I want to make sure that I'm playing and enjoying it and appreciating it."

The concept of resting when he could physically play was anathema to him. Even if his mind understood, his spirit wanted to hurl.

The only coping mechanism that worked was distraction. He threw himself into other pursuits. His businesses, the documentary he's doing for Showtime, his family.

He tried to enjoy the good moments he still had left -- the night he passed Michael Jordan on the all-time scoring list, the game against LeBron in L.A. He let himself be cheered and hugged by opponents who weren't sure if they'd ever play against him again. He let nostalgia exist without objection. It almost felt like his farewell tour began a few months early.

But the longer all this went on, the harder it was to watch. Kobe may have found ways to deal with it, but this wasn't fun or meaningful or worthwhile. He wasn't going to be able to keep fooling himself or anyone else for much longer.

So when day finally broke, it came as more relief than revelation.

This season and all its pretense is over. Kobe can stop trying to play along. So can everyone else.

He'll be back next season. Yes, retirement crosses his mind all the time. It has to. But those close to him say he's not there yet. Not when he's still so competitive he tries to play and shoot left-handed after ripping up his right rotator cuff. Not when the Lakers' future is still so unsettled.

Not when the last team he played on was so uninspiring.

We all want to go out on our own terms. When we're ready. Very few get that ending.

This, most certainly, is not the way Kobe Bryant wants to go out. This is just a year he'll forget as soon as possible.

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